Thesis;
Cullen Park has been around our Houston area for the past thirty years, I go there very often and it is gloomy to see the solitary sensation that overpowers that place at times.
Body Paragraph;
I clearly remember one afternoon in Cullen Park when I was running with my partner; I had a sudden strange sensation coming from my throat. I started to cough and soon could not keep from coughing; I did not understand why so we stopped to see if I simply needed air. We walked a little but the pain continued, then my partner told me to open my mouth. I did and he stuck his finger down my throat creating a bitter repulsive taste in my tongue, but as soon as he took it out the most unbelievable thing came out my mouth; a mosquito. Apparently in the process of running and talking a mosquito had found its way in my mouth, getting stuck in my throat and therefore causing me to cough. I thanked my partner for saving me from what I called a “mosquito choking death”, my advice to all runners; run with your mouth closed.
I like how you wrote an entire paragraph on a little experience. It makes me want to figure out what it was.
ReplyDeleteI read your entire paragraph (peer review) and I must say you did a great job. You have very good writing skill and from your way of writing you make me want to run in that park with someone as well. I really want to see the deer and snakes and other wildlife that you explained!