Thesis: The memorable moments my family and I share at church not only bring us together but also allow us to share moments together in such a peaceful environment.
The feeling I get at church is a feeling I can’t get anywhere else. Ever since I could remember, when entering the dimmed palace I would always receive a different vibe. Words cannot define the vibe I still get when I sit in the same seat every Sunday. Being surrounded by many people from my community who have similar beliefs comforts me. My mother disciplined us very well, when my sisters and I would annoy one another she would quickly glance at us and crunch her teeth together. We would get separated by her, the one who behaved the worst would be the lucky one who would have to sit next to her, sometimes we fought to sit next to her because she didn’t mind us resting our head on her. As a kid I thought church was about showing up and asking for forgiveness for the sins we have committed, in a way I was correct about that but it is also about understanding ourselves and the religion we believe in. I recommend this place to everyone in the community because the size of the church is immense; the location also brings the joy to it, St. Anne is located in the corner of Shepherd and Westheimer. The environment will bring enjoyment to every family who attend because there’s many things you can take advantage of they offer help to everyone.
Good job of making sure your first paragraph was based off the first thing you talked about in your thesis, it shows that u stayed on topic. You also did. Good job of describing the memory you had of church. Your description gave me a good image; I felt that I was there and I could see your mothers teeth grinding together.
ReplyDeleteI remember giving comment on the rough draft of this essay and I can definitely say that you did make really good changes. Now the place offer the Houstonians community something that's worth going for. I love your thesis and I just want to tell you that I feel the same about my mosque. Great job emphasizing the church in details in your body paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI really like the details you used because I can imagine what it looks like. I also liked how you added your personal experiances, I know what you mean when you say "The feeling I get at churhc is a feeling I cant get anywhere else." I like your thesis and good job emphasizing the importance of this church to you.
ReplyDeleteThis is really great!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I would change is the thesis, you can add a lot more detail to it to lure the reader in more. I really love how you called the church a, "Dimmed Palace" that was lovely!
The way you incorporated childhood memories is so relatable it makes my arms sting just thinking back when I would act up in church.
Good job, I really liked it.
I also like how you gave directions to the church.