Thesis: I have many, vivid childhood memories at a place where I call my home away from home, Oyster Creek Park. The park is my own relaxation spot to get away from the caving, suburban city buildings and closer to family and friends, entertainment, and nature. Oyster Creek Park isn’t like most parks. Normally, there are always people there, and the vast play areas give people lots of activities to participate in regularly. I call it my home, because I feel as if there wasn’t school or any other obligations, I could permanently camp out there for the rest of my life.
Body Paragraph: I love the activity that takes place here. The park is a free spirit. It fills up with old married couples walking the cement pathways and teenagers smothering the grass in an intense game of ultimate Frisbee. Local rock band celebrities come out on certain days and claim their territory. They have their CDs prepared and ready for any buyers looking to be open about their music choice. There is a huge selection of music ranging from heavy metal rock to the soft sounds of the symphony. Oyster Creek Park also has a well lit stage where the main event performs and showcases their talent. Even when there isn’t any music, the wind and man- made ponds and fountains create soothing swishhh swuashhh noises similar to those of the ocean waves’. As I walk my dog, I pass by the bridge that connects the park to the parking lot. It’s an enormous 75 feet bridge that has turtles at its base. The loud obnoxious ducks splash and flail in the water, because they are having a fight over a piece of bread. Tiny little minnows disperse throughout the whole pond. These are just some little things I notice as I pass by.
Oyster Creek Park seems so amzaingly vivid by the way you have created strong particulars to back up your experience. The onomatopoeia that you use to describe the sound of "the man-made ponds and fountains" makes it seem more realistic by representing a similarity of the ocean which most people have already experienced. Even though you do represent what most parks have to offer you still give desprictive details to set it apart from other parks and make it more unique.
ReplyDeleteOyster Creek park seems like an amazing place from the way you have described it. The way you described "the ponds and the man-made ponds and fountains" makes the paragraph sound more realistic.
ReplyDeleteThe details you made of Oyster Creek along with the effective figurative language brough it alive and seems like a lovely place to visit! I love that you brough all aspects of the park, like the people, the music, the natural.
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